Friday, September 16, 2011

I Must Have Always Known

I'm not afraid; my calamitous streak seems to have drawn to a close. All of those frustrations: the attack on Union St, and bicycle mishap, getting robbed, they weren't so unbearable. In retrospect, it wasn't the actual crisis that was so troubling, as much as the notion that I was being punished.
Something I've been thinking about a lot in the past few days. I'm sort of through feeling bad about what the last couple of years have held for me.
I think it's true, that consensual relationships are relative, and defined by the involved parties' terms. People will do, and put up with, in degrees that aren't measured by a tangible set of standards.
I've made myself lousy with guilt over things that weren't my fault, and I don't feel like I deserved to be put in the position that I'm in anymore.