Limp, little, sack.
I feel as though everything that has sustained me, through various enforcers, has been taken this year and a half.
So much depletion, so little regeneration.
I do what I can, though. I look for little things to bouy me. I grasp that I am too busted to even muster the energy (sometimes), though the yearning and effort are certainly there. I guess this is the feeling of genuine emotional exhaustion.
Life is like that. I allow myself to feel what I feel and I've taught myself how to handle what comes my way. I'd really been needing something to look forward to, rather than the usual predictive and routine conversations that are swirled around my weeks.
With that said, I have recently run into somebody from my past. We weren't ever on bad terms. And now it seems as though our relationship has picked up right where it would have been, had we stayed in touch. You won't really meet him. He doesn't actually exist - not through the web, anyway. He is the sasquatch of my blog; a complete and total blur. Our days spent together are building toward rebuilding over 8 years of lost time. It's fascinating and I don't trade these moments in for anything. I wouldn't.
Already, my mind and heart stammer with the amount of laughter from which my cheeks ache. Seals, cupcakes, Balboa Park... we are the Ox and the Cock. At least, according to the Chinese Zodiac.
This is what life is about, right? Rebuilding the foundation that once made you want to wake up in the morning. Friendships and relationships are so often remembered in lapses. You have to work hard at rebuilding what they should have been, that is, assuming they have fallen apart.