Monday, April 27, 2009

An Entry About Jeopardy!

Hello hello,

I've been watching a lot of Jeopardy! lately and man, I like that show, but parts of it just make me laugh. Alex Trebek came out at the start the other evening and his first comment was how he was the only person onstage whose last name didn't end in the letter L. See, now why do people act like Jeopardy! is for smart people when the main topic of discussion is the fact that all the contestants' last names end in the letter L?

See, that's my other problem with Jeopardy! (you can't forget the exclamation mark after it!), how it's supposed to be for really smart people, but it isn't. They throw in that ridiculous thing about phrasing everything in the form of a question, but who actually forms questions that way? I'm not a smart girl (or good-looking, well-spoken, nice smelling.. the list goes on), but when someone asks me "Who is Barney Miller?" I don't say "Abe Vigoda's short-lived series Fish was a spinoff of this sitcom!". (By the way, the fact that I used a Barney Miller spinoff as my example for a Jeopardy! question instead of some bit of Greek mythology should show you exactly how bad I would be on Jeopardy!).

Anyway, so yeah, I guess my point is, if you want to have some cheap fun, whenever someone asks you a question, phrase your answer like a Jeopardy! clue. Examples:

someone: "What is The Pink Panther?"

me: "This series of comedy films features the bumbling French police detective, Jacques Clouseau and was later its own series of animated cartoons."

someone: "What is that stain on your shirt?"

me: "This icing was left by one of the many cupcakes Norma has enjoyed in her lifetime"

Okay, I can't really come up with very good examples, but you get my general drift eh?

In other news, I ate the most memorable red-velvet cupcake the other day in that new cupcake eatery Downtown. I'm going to go make one or more pancakes. Who else wants breakfast?

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Hugs Don't Grow On Trees

Today, I purposely lost myself in the grocery store.

Sometimes I remember never being rescued at the swings during the summer of 2006; I seem to have been swinging away these past three years. The tears still fall with the same velocity and my voice gets smaller and smaller.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Oh, And Happy Birthday, Richard.

This has been my mind for the past several days.

I have something to say, but your guess is as good as mine.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

We Refuse Science or Logic or Sleep

Instead we fumble through broken sentences, through gasps and tears and are unable to draw even a single conclusion. We are not lost. We are not found. We are floating through space and we are not connecting with anything solid, anymore. Like Whitman, I know these filaments will connect somewhere, somehow. There is not much left to do.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Someone Take Me To Massachusetts

There are still places, right, where children wear short pants and people tend to their flowerboxes?

My life can be marked with immersions in poetry. 10 was Dickinson; 12 was Plath; 13 was Ginsberg, Kerouac, Corso, DiPrima and there were others before these bay-dwellers and their pep talks about geese, femininity, freedom and fucking. I feel like I could show up on their doorsteps, hard-sided suitcase in hand and collapse into their hammocks and after they've restored my faith in things, generally, we could retire to some delicious pizza parlor where I would marvel at the way the wall of bottles gleaming in the sun (that's how they decorate those, right?).

Saturday, April 11, 2009

I Declare

My love is like...

...a bitter cliff, gnawed by waves.
...the moment one's glasses slide from one's face!
...the clammy grip of a banana peel.
...a mattress that has been abandoned in a field.