Friday, October 10, 2008

Animals, Mostly

First off, I did not Wang Chung tonight. I had a little bit of a nice dinner, though.

Unrelated, I was talking to someone recently who told me that apparently Stephen Hawking says that at the rate we're going, humans will be extinct in 1000 years or something (I'm sure he was a lot more clear about it, and included some convincing facts, and possibly ended the whole discussion with some electro-beat-boxing with his awesome robot voice). I know that should worry me, but really, isn't that sort of exciting? It's fantastic for all the animals too, unless we manage to kill them all before ourselves, which I'm sure we will, but just imagine the sigh of relief if humans suddenly disappeared. Dogs could walk wherever they wanted, fish wouldn't have to worry about fishermen or japanese people, and buffalo could once again run free across the plains, stretching their majestic legs and thinking all sorts of racist thoughts (buffalo are huge bigots! I actually stole that japanese people joke from a buffalo).

I'm sure the smarter animals would be pretty happy too, because we'd probably leave a whole bunch of neat gadgets and sugary food behind for them to play with. I am guessing mostly chimpanzees and dolphins would come out most ahead, they'd be driving cars and microwaving frozen food, that sort of thing, it'd be excellent. Want a ride down to the 7-11 for a microwaved burrito? Just ask a dolphin, that's how it'd work.

Hey speaking of smart animals, I actually was going to use this for another entry, but why isn't there a talking dog yet? I know that dogs aren't generally smart enough to talk, but you'd think there'd have to have been like ONE at some point that was just crazy smart and figured out how to say a few words right? Even if you just think about humans, there's such an incredible span of intelligence, where on one hand you have 13 year olds who have graduated university and are working on their PhD's, and on the other you have whoever programs The Comedy Network, so why not with dogs? There are lots of average dogs who are smart enough to catch frisbees, bark when a fire breaks out, or lick peanut butter off my friend's neighbour's dad's nuts (seriously, it happened during a surprise party for him!), so why hasn't one figured out just like "Hello there" even? It just goes to show, the animal kingdom is a vast and wonderful place, full of lazy, unmotivated dogs.