Sunday, February 4, 2007

Forwards & Backwards

Can we play the 'this time last year" game?

Can I tell you how much I miss Blondie's Pizza and the haunted heater that didn't particularly work and the Saturday morning walks to the Farmer's Market on Center St. and (very briefly) living in the same city as Love At First Bite and free museums and walking around downtwon and so many bookstores (not to mention the best post card store in the whole wide world) and the architecture and the cherry blossoms and the greatest bread pudding and the fun rain and taking long walks and riding the B.A.R.T. under the water and the fact that getting out of class at 530 meant truly being done for the day (without stress hangovers that induce headaches) and renting very cool movies and a very cool video rental store and walking to such beautiful theatres and eating at so many great restaurants (not to mention the take out!) and the hockey games and actually having enough time to cook and feeling like it was entirely impossible to ever get tired of any of it.

I know what you're thinking. At first maybe it was cute and charming, but now this shtick is getting a bit old. How can you see anything ahead of you if you are constantly looking over your shoulder?

I know nostalgia can look an awful lot like melancholy, but that isn't it. There are lots of things I don't miss, and there are lots of things here that are so much better, so many things that I'd lose track trying to count them on my fingers. And this isn't about not wanting to be here or even about wanting to be there. I think, quite simply, it's just a feeling of amazement that this life is so very different from the last one.