Where the hell is the The Joy of Painting? It's 7:30 in the morning on a Saturday and I'm 21 years old. Why the hell else would I be up right now, watching PBS? I expected to see a meek, white Christian with an afro telling me about happy little trees and secret squirrels. Instead, I've got Thomas the Tank Engine and his idiot friends perpetually going off the tracks. My heart is broken.