Wednesday, April 5, 2006

Pardon Our Mess, We're Rennovating!

Is there anything worse than a journal entry about writing journal entries? But oh, lately (lately as in the past however many months) it has been so hard to write, to find things to say, to gather together enough to make something, however small or modest. (The awful, sinking feeling of trying to sew a dress entirely out of scraps.) I used to feel so baffled and even annoyed when hearing someone declare that they couldn't keep a journal because they simply didn't have anything to say. This seemed unreasonable, impossible; clearly they just weren't trying, I thought.

But lately ("lately") this feeling of being stuck, stumped. I've been inventing all sorts of creative excuses, too - about how maybe I just don't have enough time or enough sadness (isn't it always easier to write about being unhappy about something?) or that it's hard to make yourself write things down when you're always around someone, how it's so much easier to simply make them your journal. So anyway, I guess I'm trying to say that I'm not quite sure what to do in this sort of situation other than just get through it, confess to feeling a bit clumsy and embarrassed, to start writing more again, start paying closer attention.